So I think that I like him... I have been obsessing over this guy that I work with... like for the last week.  I can't even expain the way that thinking about him makes me feel.  It is like he is perfectly imperfect!  I am not really trying to write a love ballad or anything but he is the first guy that I have fallen for in a very very very long time.  Until now I thought that God was preparing me to be ready for my soulmate and future husband, you know making sure I was all together.  Then he comes along to mess up all of those thoughts.  I am stuck in between a rock and hard place, because I don't know if it is something that could possibly work out, or even how to gauge whether or not he feels the same about me...this is really crazy!!.. Anyway the reason that I decided to blog about this is to get it off my chest... since I have been thinking about him every waking moment, and have no idea where this thing is going, I need to get it out somehow.  It is like I don't want to tell him how much I like him, because I don't want to make things ackward, even though they have been anyway lately (part of the reason I think he feels the same).  Then  because of the fact that I work with him I don't want things to be ackward at work, and have the other co-workers involved with our relationship.  But at the same time I don't want to pass something like this up. Like if he really is my soulmate, and he is waiting for me to make the first move, I will be the one messing it all up.  Okay enough about the ambiguity of the situation.... and on to the reasons.  First and foremost he is very smart, funny, and thoughtful.  I will be the first to tell someone that I am not a "ride or die" chick, and with him I don't have to be.  He admits he is boring, but he really is not when I look at him.  Although he doesn't drink or smoke he loves music, and I have caught him dancing occasionally around the office, and he is always spitting the lyrics of one of his favorite rap songs.  He is the first guy that I have met that wanted to give to me before I gave to him, and I think that is what sold me... because most guys just want to take- take- take, and for someone like me who likes to give, it can be a disastrous situation.  I don't want to be cliche...but one of my favorite quotes says that you find yourself, by giving yourself to others  courtesty of John Paul II and my catholic university education.  But anyway I think that this quote to live by because I find it to be true in life daily.  When I think of the man that God has planned for me to marry and spend the rest of life with I think of someone very different from me in many ways, but the same as me in the important ways.  For instance I would like for him to be an expert in a field outside of mine, but I would like for us to share the belief that educating others in our field of interest is important. Someone who is interested in a field I don't know much about will continue to educate me about his field and me educate him about mine.  I also would like for him to be someone excited about life in general like I am.  Most importantly I would like for him to have some sort of spiritual background in Christianity, I am not requesting a perfect background because mine is not perfect, but we can always grow together.  It is wierd that you start to think about things like settling down after getting to certain age, when being single was your claim to fame before... But as Natasha Beddingfield sang " who doesn't long for someone to hold....who knows how to love you without being told?" I am starting to realize the need for companionship as I get older and grow apart from a lot of my friends and family.  It seems the space for a soulmate is being made in my life.  Right now I am just waiting for the go ahead from above, before I move to the next point.  I really and truly believe that His blessing is the only one that will make this situation a good one.  In the past I have listened to family and friends when it came to what I should do with the guys in my life, and none of them are still around... ironic huh?!  But I know that taking my hints from God can only leave me doing better in the end whether I am in agreement or not.  So I'm saying all this to say... it is up to you God, I am turning it all over to you... done, no more of my choice.